Following the launch of ‘first step’ on 29th May 1997, hundreds of male survivors, their partners, friends and families have stepped out of the shadows, broken their silence, reached out and benefited from the services it provides. What few realise is the determination and hard work that went on behind the scenes over many months leading to that special day. I am therefore very pleased to have been asked to write some words about the origins of ‘first step’. In many respects, the reason that it exists is simply down to the hard work of its volunteers, many of whom are survivors themselves. Without their belief, drive, determination, commitment and strength, ‘first step’ simply wouldn’t exist.

 As a residential social worker in the early 1980’s, I remember very well the advice I was given when it came to supporting male survivors of abuse – “leave well alone”. I was confused, and as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself, couldn’t understand how a system charged with the care of young people seemed unable or unwilling to respond. Perhaps the world wasn’t ready to acknowledge that the abuse of boys and men existed? At that time professionals were just getting their head around the fact that it happened to women and girls. Whatever the reasons, what did exist was in effect a conspiracy of silence.

From 1993 - 1996 I attended De Montfort University to qualify as a social worker and was encouraged and supported by tutors and some other students to develop my learning of issues related to the abuse of boys and men. I discovered so much and met some amazing people at that time, including founder members of a male survivor organisation in Sheffield. At last there were others doing this work, irrefutable proof that there was a need but also a solution. It’s hard to explain what a boost it was to meet others who believed - not just in the issue but also in what I was trying to do. Its no exaggeration to say that if it wasn’t for the men and women behind Survivors (Sheffield), ‘first step’ may not exist today.

Spurred on, I embarked on a research project looking at the availability of services and supports for male survivors in Leicestershire. Where could a man go for help? What kind of response would he receive? Were professionals aware of the issue? Was their training adequate? Was there support for my dream of starting a service? The research identified that there were some individuals working to support survivors, but in many respects they were as isolated as those they were trying to help. Training and supervision was non existent and most survivors were trapped by a familiar silence I had experienced years before. Without a visible and active service, the situation would remain the same. The research was also a success in that it put me in touch with a number of people who were as committed as I was to starting a service in Leicestershire.

In November 1996, this group of people met for the first time. Fourteen men and women, many of whom were also survivors, pooled their ideas and planned to make our individual and collective dreams come alive. We were all determined to succeed and it seemed that nothing was going to stop us! At the time we had a lot of ideas and enthusiasm, we didn’t have money or premises but I don’t think it ever occurred to us that we would fail. There followed months of feverish activity – raising funds, writing policies, finding premises, designing our own training programme and publicity material - but by May 1997 we were ready. An unbelievable achievement in so many respects.

The launch of ‘first step’ took place somewhat appropriately at the Phoenix Theatre, Leicester, on a beautiful sunny day. Everything went to plan and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house of 100 or so guests as we talked and shared our ideas. For many of us it was both huge a professional personal achievement, the like of which we will probably never experience again in our lifetime. When we talk about it today and it still warms our hearts.
The service started the following week. We still had a few doubts; would anyone call?  would we be enough? But we needn’t have worried, from that first week the phone started ringing and it hasn’t stopped since.

Hundreds of survivors, their partners, family, friends and workers from other agencies have been in touch and benefited from the support offered. Men in their late teens to those in their seventies harnessed their courage, broke their silence and were given choices to free them from the enslavement of their abuse. Over the years ‘first step’ has supported men all over the UK and also numerous others develop their own services, just like those from Sheffield did years before. We have contributed to national press articles and conferences in an effort to encourage the growth of what is a remarkable movement for change. Thinking back to that cold November evening in 1996, when the first group of volunteers met, it’s hard to believe. It seems that on some occasions perhaps, dreams do come true?

Like many small organisations with few resources, we have also experienced difficult times – sustaining achievements over a longer period of time is not easy but we feel well placed to meet that challenge in the future. I feel that I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the all of the volunteers involved in ‘first step’ over the last nine years or so. Without them it simply wouldn’t exist. We worked together, sometimes cried together, believed, shared success and overcome disappointment with a spirit that is impossible to extinguish. I would also like to thank Survivors (Sheffield) and Leicester FSU for their crucial support – without them it would just not have been the same - or perhaps even possible at all. Over recent years the incredible support of all at Rugby ROSA has kept us alive and prevented us from disappearing altogether. I would also like to thank and pay tribute to one very special man who has been an active volunteer since 1996 and perhaps done most to keep our dream alive. That man is Tony Magee, a truly inspirational person whose energy, warmth, kindness and commitment is second to none. He of all people encapsulates what ‘first step’ is all about and I feel proud and privileged to call him a friend.

No doubt that over the forthcoming years, all at ‘first step’ will continue to do their utmost to ensure that survivors voices are heard, that they are treated with the respect they deserve and that justice in all its forms will prevail. That’s what we dreamed of and set out to achieve all those years ago and it’s been quite an odyssey. Long may it continue!

Alastair Hilton.
(Founder member and volunteer, 1996 – 2001)